I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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