We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Randomize
