I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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