I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
