I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
