i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize