just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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