Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
