I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
