U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
