He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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