If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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