Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
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