Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
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