Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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