I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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