I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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