There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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