I have demons in me.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Randomize
