Jerry, you need to find god
Four minutes until I can fart!
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Randomize
