I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
