ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize