Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
