Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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