guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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