Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
