Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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