Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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