can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
