his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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