Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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