Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize