oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
