Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
