This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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