I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
