I'm really into asian looking animals
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
