this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Randomize
