She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
