Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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