Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
