I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
