you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
