definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
