You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
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