im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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