plz talk dirty to me
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
