That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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