I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize