he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
