just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
