real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
