nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
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