Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
