Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
