Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
